Happy Bisexual Visibility Day!

- from Canada's most misconceived bisexual!

Photo Credit: gleedegrassi-bigfan

Okay, I'm guilty as charged. This post is a few days late. Bisexual Visibility Day was actually three days ago. For the record, that was September 23rd - and it is the same day every year! But it's never too late to spread some visibility to the always seen but rarely heard "B" in LGBTQA+!

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Bisexual: Someone who is sexually attracted to both males and females.

LGBTQA+: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning/Queer, Asexual, +

But Wait - Isn't "Queer" Offensive?

If you read my last post about the Huffington Post article on being genderqueer, or the post before that on LGBTQA+ representation on YouTube  - you may be asking yourself this. 

Photo Credit: E. Winter Tashlin

It originally translates to "strange" or "odd", which is why it got donned as a slur towards the LGBTQA+ community (specifically homosexuals and those who are not cisgender) in the early 19th century when acceptance rates were certainly not how they are today. The term "queer" was once a term frowned upon and rejected by those in the LGBTQA+ community.

So what changed?

Nowadays, we see "queer" plastered all over the LGBTQA+ community. Queer spaces, queer studies...queer and genderqueer have even been claimed as non-binary identities. It is even often used as an umbrella term in place of the "LGBTQA+" acronym that represents the entire group.

The reclamation of "queer" to mean something that is no longer offensive to the LGBTQA+ community is a pretty divided subject.

Photo Credit: Clip Art Hut

On one hand, we have those who are all for reclamation of the word as an in-group term. 

Think of it like how certain words are offensive to people of color, unless used by people of color.

Some find the word queer to be empowering by those in the LGBTQA+ community, or feel it is a term that accurately represents how they identify because it abolishes other labels.

But on the other hand, we have those who still see it just as it started: as a slur.

Some people are still very offended by it, and don't think it is right for some to claim it as an identity.

They also often believe that if those in the LGBTQA+ community use it, that is only encouraging those outside of that group to continue using it with its original offensive connotation.

So in conclusion, the implications of the word queer really depend on a person-to-person basis.

Got More Gender Queer-ies? 

Check out this video by YouTuber Ashley Mardell for some more info on queer identities!

or this article "Queer 101: Identity, Inclusion, and Resources" by the Unitarian Universalist Association"!

Photo Credit: SwlabrGears

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LGBTQA+: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, Asexual, +

Homosexual: A person who is sexually attracted to those of the same gender

Cisgender: Someone whose biological sex aligns with their gender identity

Queer: An in-group term sometimes used to refer to the entire LGBTQA+ community, or certain people in the community who define themselves this way

Genderqueer: Someone who does not identify with a single, exclusively masculine or feminine gender identity

Non-Binary: Any gender identity that is not specifically male or female

"Don't Dismiss Me for Being Genderqueer"

The following is a recap from an AWESOME article by Micah from the Huffington Post. The article's title "Don't Dismiss Me for Being Genderqueer" pretty much explains exactly what it's about - being genderqueer.

 Specifically, Micah used this article to address the myths, mistreatment, and common misconceptions that surround those who identify as genderqueer. 

(Such as the oh-so-tiring options in the image below)

Not hard to win a Bingo with this game, thanks to the frequent discrimination on nonbinary gender identities!

Photo Credit: Hormonaltransrex

Micah really hit the nail on the head hard with this article. Especially when they pointed out that discrimination towards those who identify as genderqueer or anywhere else under the Non-Binary label face not only from those outside the LGBTQA+ community, but from those IN it too:

"Doctors tell them they aren't trans enough to transition. Family tells them they aren't trans enough to call them by a different pronoun. Trans brothers and sisters tell them they aren't trans enough to warrant support, services, acknowledgement, a community of solidarity within the transgender umbrella. 

Genderqueer people are transgender. Genderqueer people experience discrimination, rejection, violence. Genderqueer people are not playing dress up."

Well put, Micah!

Click here to read the full article

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Genderqueer: Someone who does not identify with a single, exclusively masculine or feminine gender identity.

Non-Binary: Any gender identity that is not specifically male or female

LGBTQA+: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, Asexual, +

Transition: The process of transitioning to better fit your gender identity instead of your biological sex

Trans: Short for transgender; Someone whose gender identity does not align with their biological sex

LGBTQA+ Representation on Youtube

Photo Credit: Jordan Crook

Anyone who knows me personally knows that YouTube has taken up a good chunk of my life. Besides having my own channel and being surrounded by many friends who do the same, I often find myself sucked into that never ending pattern of going on YouTube to watch one thing only to waste two hours clicking around on random links. 

But what a lot of people don't realize is that YouTube is more than attractive foreign guys and cat videos. YouTube is actually a great platform for many big things, and can be a great place to go to find information on just about any subject. Most importantly, I think YouTube is a great place to go when you want to feel like you're not alone. 

When I was first working out the kinks in my gender identity, I turned to YouTube a lot. Through YouTube I actually found a lot of great information that really helped me figure myself out (and one special YouTuber named Jake who had a huge impact on my life). So I figured I should give some of my favorite channels for this kind of content a shout out! 

Some of them are pretty well known. Others could use a little lovin'. 

I've included everyone's channel link, plus a short little description of how they're relevant to the community and what else you can find on their channel. 

*Some channels may contain some NSFW content. View at your own discretion.

Jake Edwards 

(Transgender, Pansexual, Same-Sex Relationship, Musician)

Alex Bertie

(Transgender, Pansexual, Same-Sex Relationship, Graphic Design, Nerd Things)

Skylar Kergil 

(Transgender, Pansexual, Hetero Relationship, STI Information, Musician, Cats)

Chase Ross

(Transgender, Sex Information, Runner)

Chandler Wilson

(Agender, Trans Youth, Trans Relationships, Cute as Heck)

Ashley Mardell

(Queer, Androgyny, Same-Sex Relationship, LGBTQA+ Information, Bow Ties, Beer)

Hartbeat

(Lesbian, POC, Comedy, Watermelons)

Benton Sorensen

(Transgender, Testosterone Comparisons, Short Films)

Hannah Hart

(Lesbian, Same-Sex Relationship, Alcohol, Cooking, Comedy)

TimmyFellDownTheWell

(Gay, Body Image, Gender Expression, Comedy, Music Parodies)

I'm sure I'm missing a few, and if I think of them or find anymore that I like I'll edit this post and add them in! Remember, this is just a small fraction of the LGBTQA+ representation on YouTube.

 If anyone else knows of someone worth sharing please let me know too!

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Gender Identity: A person's personal perception of their own gender

Transgender: Someone whose biological sex does not align with their gender identity

Pansexual: Sexual attraction not limited by gender identity or biological sex

Agender: Someone who does not identify with any gender 

Queer: An in-group term sometimes used to refer to the entire LGBTQA+ community, or certain people in the community who define themselves this way.

Androgyny: Combination of masculine and feminine characteristics

LGBTQA+: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning/Queer, Asexual, + 

Lesbian: Someone who identifies as female and is sexually attracted to females

Testosterone: A steroid hormone used to develop a masculine appearance and features

Gay: Someone who identifies as male and is sexually attracted to males; or an umbrella term for anyone who is sexually attracted to their own sex

Gender Expression: The way someone represents gender based on their appearance, mannerisms, etc.

Dear Transmen; Dear Transwomen; Dear Genderfluid/Non-Binary People

Photo Credit: Rainbow Depot

"Dear trans men
You are manly enough
You are trans enough 
I don’t care what you enjoy doing, what you like to wear, what surgeries you do/don’t plan to have, or what everyone else says 
You know you the best

Dear trans women
You are Womanly enough 
You are trans enough 
I don’t care what you enjoy doing, what you like to wear, what surgeries you do/don’t plan to have, or what everyone else says 
You know you the best

Dear gender fluid /non binary people
You are awesome 
You are valid
You have a right to be respected 
You have a right to be happy 
You know you best"

- Trans-Wonderland

Petition to Make Binders Easily Accessible

I was reminded of a post I came across on Tumblr a while ago and thought it would be a great thing to share here.

Tyler Castro of Freehold, NJ has started a petition through Change.org in hopes to get big chain retail stores such as Wal-Mart, K-Mart, and Target to start selling chest binders in their establishments.

Why Is This Important?

• Since binders can be so difficult to obtain, many transmen resort to unsafe binding methods such as ace bandages and tape.
• Unsafe binding - either with dangerous methods such as bandages and tape or with binders that do not fit properly - can lead to broken, bruised, or floating ribs, suffocation, deformed or collapsed lungs, tissue and muscle injury, back and spine issues, and decreased blood flow. 
• Being able to try a binder on in-store makes the purchase safer and reduces the risk of buying one that is dangerously small or too large.
• Right now binders are only available for purchase online, and not everybody has access to the Internet to do so.
• Transgender youth who cannot come out to their guardians or people who are not yet out to those they live with would then be able to purchase one in store without anyone else knowing.
• While there are organizations that can sometimes help FtM's get a proper binder, these obviously cannot help everyone and are in short supply. Plus, binders are usually used so they are not as effective and do not last as long as a new binder.
• While definitely cheaper than top surgery, binders are still expensive and making them available in-store eliminates shipping costs.

As of today Tyler's petition still needs a little over 3500 signatures to reach the number he needs. Signing is free and can be anonymous! 

Click here to check it out and support the cause.

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Chest Binder: A compression vest used to give the appearance of a flattened chest, typically used by those who are FtM.

Transmen/FtM: (Synonymous terms) A transgender individual who is female to male.

Transgender: Someone whose biological sex does not align with their gender identity.

Top Surgery: Chest reconstruction surgery done to create a male-appearing chest.

These ARE Real Words!

This one's for everyone out there who has ever been told their identity "is not real". The online resource for the Oxford English Dictionary has added a whole bunch of trans-related terms to its collection!

You can read the full article by Life Outside the Binary here.

Photo credit also by Life Outside the Binary.

Mom, Dad...I'd Like You to Meet my Dragon.

Photo Credit: Unknown.

If you know the source of this image, please contact me so I can give proper credit!

I found this on Instagram and had a good laugh over it. It reminded me of when I came out about my gender identity and an old friend jokingly asked if he could refer to me as "Your Majesty" in place of my old pronouns since it is technically a gender neutral term.

But in all seriousness, this was a huge thing for me when I was coming to terms with my gender identity. What would happen when I was in a relationship someday? I had no idea what I would prefer to be referred to as. The only gender neutral term I really was aware of was partner,
which I personally cannot stand because it just reminds me of...

Photo credit: @cowboywoodyy on Twitter.
https://twitter.com/cowboywoodyy

But as I stepped foot further into the transgender community I discovered there are actually many different terms someone can use in place of boyfriend or girlfriend (or partner, thankfully for me!) when referring to your non-binary lover - and don't worry...not all of them are as ridiculous as "Daffodil".
(Although, I will fully accept anyone referring to me as their "sick meme" anytime.)

Try some of these out if you or your significant other prefers non-binary relationship terms:

Accomplice
I had not actually thought of this one until I was making this list
 (ironically it became first because of alphabetization)
but I really like this one!
Although, people may think you just committed a crime together...

Baby/Babe
Definitely not an uncommon term to hear in regards to a person someone is in a relationship with.
But you may need to watch the context so people do not confuse your "baby" for an actual infant.

Bae
Different from baby or babe because this one actually stands for "Before Anyone Else".
Personally, this one is one of my favorites.
Even if it does get a harsh rep from the internet for translating to "poop" in Danish.

Beloved
Powerful, but effective.

Betrothed
Typically only used in the context of marriage.
So unless you're married to or planning to marry the person at hand, another term may be less confusing.

Boo
Did I scare you?

Bothfriend
This one could be perfect for someone who identifies as or switches between two different genders!

Companion
Everyone needs one.

Complement
As in someone who completes you.
How sweet!

Cuddle Buddy
Netflix and chill, anyone?

Darling
Translates to "one dearly loved."

Date/Datefriend/Datemate
These are becoming a lot more common, especially in queer spaces.
Although "date" is usually seen as someone you're not necessarily exclusive with yet,
these are still great options even for an exclusive relationship.

Enbyfriend
Exclusive for non-binary relationships, with "enby" standing for NB, which stands for non-binary.
Did you catch all that?

Epox
Derives from the French word "epoux", which translates to "spouse".

Feyfriend
Another one specific to non-binary relationships.
According to the Internet, this one is commonly used for people leaning more towards a queer identity.

Flame
For some reason I'm really drawn to this one.
It's just so...hot!
(Sorry.)

Genderfriend
YES!
An ex used to refer to me as their "GF" which apparently stood for "Genderfluid Friend" to them, 
but I like this a lot better.

Honey
Just make sure you don't shrink the kids.

Imzadi
The Internet tells me this one comes from Star Trek and was used as a term similar to "beloved."
Live long and prosper.

Infatuate
Add this to the list of names I was unaware of until this list.
Gotta say, I really like this one too.

Loveperson/Lovefriend
Maybe not short - but these are sweet and to the point.

Lover
Someone once told me that to them this term specifically denotes a sexual relationship.
So if that bothers you, you may want to keep that implication in mind.

Match
Even better if you met on Tinder.

Mate
To our Australian friends it means just that - a friend,
but in the animal kingdom it refers to two animals who really love each other.

Other Half
Because you're incomplete without them.
Aw.

Paramour
No, not like the band.
Apparently this term also has sexual implications.

Partner
Just because I hate it does not mean you have to!
Really, this is probably the most common term for any relationship
 that chooses not to label themselves with "boyfriend" or girlfriend".

Partner in Crime/PIC
* See: Accomplice.

Person
Definitely my favorite from this list.
It's simply put yet easy to define and understand.

Playmate
Not quite like your elementary school playmates.

Queerfriend
Obviously meant for someone who prefers or likes a queer label.

Sidekick
All the best people have one.
Batman had Robin, Timon had Pumba, Spongebob had Patrick...

Significant Other/SO
Another common one that's easy to understand.
Kinda formal, but sweet.

Soulmate
Aw.

Special Friend
Personally, this is another one that makes me cringe
because when my mom started dating again this is what she called every random guy
that was suddenly in our kitchen for breakfast in the morning.

Suitor
Taking it way back to the Middle Ages.

Sweetheart
How...sweet?


These are just some of the terms I've come across through the web or through people in LGBTQA+ spaces sharing their preferences. Anyone else out there have any others they like?
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Gender Identity: A person's personal perception of their own gender

Pronouns: A replacement for nouns and noun phrases (He, she, they, ze, you, etc.)

Gender Neutral: Applicable to any or all genders.

Transgender: Someone whose biological sex does not align with their gender identity.

Non-Binary: Any gender identity that is not specifically male or female.

Queer: An in-group term sometimes used to refer to the entire LGBTQA+ community, or certain people in the community who define themselves this way. 

Enby/NB: Stands for non-binary

Genderfluid: Someone whose gender identity fluctuates between two or more identities.

LGBTQA+: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Asexual, + 

Transgender Teens Address Their Future Selves

The following is a recap from an article done by author, editor, and staff writer Julie Zeilinger for an online news company called Mic. This article, titled "Transgender Teens Share Inspiring and Heartbreaking Hopes for their Future Selves" discusses a video by Mashable in which a group of transgender youth of all sorts address themselves 10  years in the future with some words on where they hope to be by then. Such as:

"Do what makes you happy."

"I really hope you found a job and a place to stay."

"I hope that your father has come around and is very, very supportive of you."

"Will you ever get there? To the point where you're real in everywhere - in the hearts of your parents, in the hearts of yourself."

"I hope that you can look in the mirror and finally be happy with who you are, and have people who are happy with who you are too."

"Just believe in yourself."

Julie wrote, "Figures like Laverne Cox, Janet Mock, and Caitlyn Jenner have made many great strides for transgender visibility, but what has arguably been less visible is the rocky road that brought them to their trans adulthood. That growth is an experience Mashable has attempted to capture in a new video and series of profiles of transgender teens sharing their hopes and experiences for their future selves...

...Many of their dreams are those held by teens of all gender identities...But their hopes are also exceedingly practical, grounded in a reality that is probably distinct from that of most cisgender teens."

Click here to read the rest of Julie's article.

...and check out the full video by Mashable here
Warning: It's a tear jerker

Bless these kids!
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Transgender: Someone whose biological sex does not align with their gender identity.

Gender Identity: A persons personal perception of their own gender.

Cisgender: Someone whose biological sex does align with their gender identity.